Some things you just can’t make up. Crystal keeps a pretty descent log of funny things that the kids say and do or the ways that they reveal what’s going on inside their heads, but this episode is worthy of its own post.
So I am down at a restaurant supply warehouse picking up supplies for Portico (the coffee shop at Graceway that I manage) and I am ready to check out. I have my two kids, Issac (15 months) and Abigail (4 years) with me. The kids have been a little squirrely, but not bad and I am expecting to get out of the store and back home without incident. Not. So. Much. The next 45 seconds are the subject of this post.
As I’m making sure that I have my corporate card and everything ready to check out, Abigail starts shreiking at the top of her lungs, hopping up and down and pointing “OH MY GOODNESS! LOOK DADDY, IT’S A REAL WIZARD!!!” What? ”CAN I GO TALK TO HIM?!?” I started to say an emphatic NO, but she was gone. The poor guy didn’t even see her coming becasue you know, he wasn’t a real wizard…or even a fake one.
I turned just in time to see her warp over to an orthodox Jewish Rabbi fully dressed in some ceremonial robes not unlike what the Chief Rabbinate might wear and she starts yanking on his robe, excitedly trying to get his attention. Startled, the rabbi looks down and before he can say anything, my darling 4 year old asks/shouts “ARE YOU A REAL WIZARD?!?” His eyes dart around, probably looking for me. ”No” he replies flatly. ”ARE YOU SURE?!? DO YOU KNOW ANY SPELLS?” Again looking around with almost pleading eyes, “No” comes the flat, monotone response
Horrified. ”Abigail come HERE. He is not a real wizard!” I tell her. Fully dissatisfied, she runs over and as she’s coming back she says “DAAAAAD! I KNOW HE’S NOT A REAL WIZARD. HE TOLD ME THAT! HE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW ANY SPELLS OR HAVE A WAND!!!
Oh my. We need to leave now. Mercifully, the cashier had been ringing up my order the whole time but had now joined the chorus of people snickering at us. Got my receipt, got my kids, got my stuff and we’reouttahere! But no. Just as we’re clearing the doors, Abigail looks back: “BYYYYYYYYYEEE MR. WIZAAAARD!!!”
In Hebrew, “Abigail” (אֲבִיגַיִל) means “Joy of the Father / My Father is Joy.” I’m going to guess that the rabbi didn’t know that and even if, probably wouldn’t have been quite feeling it today. All I know is that Abigail and I are going to have to have a talk before she watches any more Harry Potter movies. I see exactly how she drew her conclusions, but…WOW!